Transcript: Freedom From Sexual Sin, Masturbation, Pornography and Sexuak Trauma Part 1

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Just like a soldier, going to battle, Garrett himself with every armor needed for battle and for winning. So believers must guard themselves with the gospel of peace, the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Join Apostle Emmanuel as he teaches God's word to equip you for a victorious life on earth. This is believers equip. In Jesus name we have prayed. Amen. We're going to be discussing what is titled freedom from sexual sin, masturbation, pornography, and sexual trauma. It's going to be a series of conversations that we're gonna be having. It is designed to be a two part series, hopefully. A two part series.

I'm I'm hoping it we don't have to extend it into three but two, two should suffice. Glory to God. Amen. Depending on how far we are able to move today. So again, we're going to be talking about freedom from sexual sin, masturbation, pornography, and various kinds of sexual trauma. Is this understood? I've observed as I interact with people, as I communicate with people, as I counsel people, as I teach people in groups, in having classes, having conversations with different kinds of people, I've observed, even in my walk through life, that even beyond the confines of ministry, just conversing with people, I've observed that there are certain conversations that we are willing to talk about openly with respect to the things we struggle with. There are certain struggles that people are willing to talk about openly. Right? Mean, if someone is struggling financially, they are willing to ask for help.

But if someone is struggling academically, they are open to seek for advice. In fact, there's an academic help desk outside there that every Sunday that we have make available for those who come visiting that are students. Then if they have issues, they go there. You'd see people who go there with all kinds of struggles that they need help with because there are issues that we are willing to be open about. Is that not so? Yes sir. If someone is struggling in marriage, they can often find counsel, they can often go to a pastor, they can often go to a counselor. Know, to talk about help. If someone is struggling with their health, they go to an hospital. Because these are all issues that we are willing to talk about openly.

But I've observed that sexual sin belongs to a different category. It is one of the most hidden battles in the church. In the lives of men. It is one of the most hidden battles amongst believers. It is one of the most hidden battles amongst pastors. Amongst leaders, amongst workers, amongst students, amongst married people, amongst single people, amongst men, amongst women, amongst children, amongst teenagers. Every class of people. Even in church. Mostly in church. Are you with me?

Yes sir. Are struggling with this problem. But not everyone, most people in fact, are not willing to talk about it. Most people in fact are not willing to open up to someone about it to receive help. As a matter of fact, if we gather in small gatherings and we ask people, say in a small group for instance, to open up and tell us what is bothering you, tell us what is disturbing you. Someone might be deep in sexual sin, in pornography, in masturbation, in fornication, in anything. That's the least thing they would want to talk about. What you would hear them say is, oh I have a problem with hunger. I I lashed out at my roommate. I talked to someone, my colleague.

I just shouted at my colleague, and I know the holy spirit has been dealing with that. And you know, I know everybody starts offering comfort. But the person who is saying this kind of thing, you need to know what he's dealing with by 1AM in the night. Are you with me? Yes, sir. Because most people who fight that battle fight it in silence. Because it is carried in shame. It's concealed behind appearances. It is the sin that people are willing to confess lust. That is if they ever confess it at all.

It is the sin that a man will carry to the head of his grave before he will say it out loud. And there's a reason that the enemy fights so hard to keep it in the dark. Because scripture says in the book of John chapter three verse 20. For everyone practicing evil, it's the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. So you see, the darkness is not incidental to this sin. The darkness is the life support of this sin. That's the reason why the devil would prefer that people who fight this kind of sin, are you with me? Fight it in silence. Concealed in darkness. Because that's what gives energy to the sin, to flourish.

One of the reasons this battle remains hidden. Is because sexual sin attacks more than behavior. Sexual sin attacks the core of a man's identity. It attacks a man's confidence. It attacks the way people see themselves. A believer may be willing to admit his struggles with hunger. He may be willing to admit that he struggles with discouragement, that he struggles with financial mismanagement. But many believers would rather die, would rather suffer in silence than admit that they are struggling with pornography. That they are struggling with masturbation. Or lust.

Or fantasies. Of immorality. Or sexual addiction. Or that they've had a kind of sexual trauma or they've been abused or molested in the past. And the result of this is that people often begin to live double lives. One version of themselves exists publicly whilst another version exists privately. One version stands in the front here now, for instance, to lead prayer, whilst the other version is in front of his phone by 1AM in the night watching pornography. One version pretends victory in public, pretends to be victorious in public, whilst the other version is trapped in cycles of guilt, cycles of condemnation, cycles of secrecy, cycles of shame, cycles of repeated failure. And the distance between these two versions oftentimes even becomes its very own torment. Because the man himself knows the gap.

He lives in the gap. He's terrified that one day the gap might be seen. And Paul was speaking about the unique inwardness of this sin when he was speaking in first Corinthians chapter six verse 18. Paul said, flee sexual immorality. Full stop. Flee sexual immorality. Full stop. Every sin that a man does is outside the body. But he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. This is a sin that turns a man against himself.

He sins against his own body that he commits in his own flesh and then has to carry inside that same flesh, which is part of why it wounds the identity of a man so deeply. It creates an autoimmune disease where the man and the body begins to fight itself. Are you with me? Yes, sir. That's the reason why many people sitting in church services every week are carrying battles that nobody around them knows about. Because of the shame and the guilt and the identity is no longer just a behavior problem. Now it has become an identity. It has become shame. It has become guilt. And so people come to church and you find a man or a woman who worships God.

I mean, he serves in church. You attend meetings, you pray, you participate in church activities, you lift up holy hands on Sunday over the very thing that you fell for on Saturday. Yet beneath the surface of all that display, all that appearance, you're fighting what you feel unable to discuss with someone. Because of the fear of being judged. Because of the fear of being exposed or rejected or misunderstood or condemned. So silence for that individual now begins to feel safer than being honest. Whereas, he doesn't know that it is death. He doesn't know that what is sinking in is destruction. Unfortunately, the very secrecy that feels safe and that is the reason why you'd rather die with it than be honest. That that thing, that secrecy that makes you feel safe is oftentimes the reason why that bondage strengthens.

I was speaking to a young man, and he told me, he said, when I fell into sexual sin, the reason why I did not talk about it immediately was because I felt I could handle it by myself. Why tell my pastor about this when I can deal with it by myself? You see, that thing that thing is the very rope that strengthens that bondage. That safety that a man wants to feel, that safety you want to feel that makes you feel as though I can deal with this in silence. Nobody needs to know about this. I can just sort myself out. I can just take care of myself. And usually, you'd find two believers who have messed up themselves and found themselves in sexual sin. And they would be advising themselves whilst they are telling themselves, this thing will not happen again. Yeah.

This thing will not happen again. We will never repeat this thing. We'll never... But somebody then probably brings up, and let's tell a pastor about, no. No. No. Don't worry. There's no need, but it will never happen again. Don't worry. We won't talk again.

We will block ourselves. We will not talk. We will not speak again. And right there, they don't see how that as they are making that simple decision to help themselves, they are tightening the bond. Now that decision might look sincere, it might look safe, it might look as though they really, in fact, they might even be sincere actually. They might actually mean what they were saying, that it will not happen again. We will block ourselves. But the secrecy itself is the bondage. Do you understand what I've just said? The secrecy, the very secrecy that feels safe.

Because one of the things that strengthens that bondage. The thing you hide to protect yourself from is the very thing that is strengthening the chain. Proverbs 28 and verse 13. The bible says, he who covers his sin will not prosper. But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. That means concealment and prosperity cannot live in the same house. The cover up you're doing is itself a guarantee that the thing will not break. So there is nobody therefore who wants to come out of sexual sin that conceals sexual sin. Did you understand what I've just said? Yes, sir.

Nobody. And I believe it is very good that we're beginning from this foundation. You have a long way to go. It's a two part series. One of the most frustrating aspects of sexual bondage is that... And I call it frustrating because it is the experience of many people who are trapped inside of it. Many people who are trapped inside of it genuinely actually ate it. That's the truth. And it is very important because it's a common misconception that everyone struggling with pornography or masturbation or fornication or any kind of immorality sexually is enjoying it. And they're just refusing to stop because they are enjoying it.

It's not true. That is oftentimes not the reality at all. Many people fighting with these battles actually have cried about them. They've prayed about them. They've told God all kinds of things. They've confessed. They've laid on the floor. They've shed tears. They've fasted. They've told God.

They've begged God about them. They've made promises to God concerning them. They've said in the name of Jesus, oh God, this thing, oh Jesus, God, there is nothing they've not done. It is obvious in their frequent acts of self proposed repentance that they actually ate the thing. Are you with me? Many people have deleted applications. Some of you have removed applications from your phone. Even some have gotten rid of devices. Some people have destroyed their routines just because they've told themselves I'm not gonna do this again. Some have made resolutions again and again.

Some have attempted several fresh start. You know what? I'm starting all over. And each of them is starting with a level of sincerity that felt unbreakable at the time that they were starting. Yet despite all of this, they find themselves returning to the very thing that they hate. And sometimes within hours of swearing that they would no longer do it, they find themselves back in it. Sometimes they don't even know it one day, and they are back. Glory to God. Someone might come to a meeting and hear a very powerful sermon. And and they feel the weight of guilt, feel the weight of shame, feel the weight of condemnation, and it breaks them into some kind of repentance and they begin to hate themselves.

And out of that hatred for themselves, they begin to say things like, never happened again. I'm never gonna do this again. And then right then, the weight of all that emotion, they begin to delete numbers, do all kind of things. And they feel as though my goodness, I'm washed by the blood. I've had an encounter. And then the moment they leave the church, there they hide again in the night alone, lonely. And what they said they are not gonna do, they find themselves back inside of it. And I'm gonna get to what repeated failure does to a man. Glory to God. Because a lot of people have become confused in that...

In their attempt to fight that battle. They become terribly confused. The guy who is masturbating everyday and feeling hatred for himself and the girl that is doing the same thing. And every time that he does it, the girl who is allowing someone somewhere to rough handle her, the guy who is allowing the same thing knows and feels hatred, knows that this thing is wrong. Is that not so? So that young girl is no longer asking whether or not that behavior is wrong. I mean, somebody in office, whilst you are in the office, you are allowing another lady in the office to make advances towards you and then flirting towards you and you know, allowing all kinds of misconduct in the office. That brother knows that it is wrong. About to counsel a young lady would leave her husband at home, go to the office, and would start engaging in all kind of flirtatious comments with men in the office. Until one of the flirtatious comment led to regrettable actions and immorality.

With someone other than her husband. And it became such a distressing thing for her. And the question is not that she did not know that it was wrong. Most people who do such things are actually aware that the behavior is wrong. So the question is not do you know it is wrong. They know it is wrong. You already know it is wrong. So you're no longer asking whether God wants him free. Many people already believe that God wants them free. Do you understand what I'm saying?

The question now becomes, if I ate this thing so much, if I know that it is wrong, if I feel some kind of guilt, some kind of condemnation after I've done it, then why do I keep on returning back to it? Even I've I've told myself I'm not gonna do it again. Why do I still keep on finding myself back in the same place I've told myself I wanna return to? Are you getting this question? Why do I keep finding myself in the same place I swore I would never see again? Why does sincere repentance seem to produce just a temporary victory that does not create lasting freedom? Why does the cycle continue? And this will look like something that only you is experiencing until you read your bible and you find that exact cry in the bible and it comes from an apostle. And Paul wrote it in Romans chapter seven and verse 15. Paul says, for what I am doing, I do not understand.

For what I will to do, that I do not practice. But what I ate, that I do. Now read it slowly. What I ate, that I do. I hope you know that it's not a hardened sinner that is talking here. The person speaking here is not someone who loves to sin. This is the anguish of a man who truly despises what he keeps on doing and come on understand why his will and his actions will not agree. He says, what I'm doing, I don't understand. What I will to do, I don't practice it. What I ate, that I do.

Are you with me? Yes sir. So you won't be the first person that has been driven to that world. Paul was also driven to that wall. And he began asking the same questions as many people are asking. As many people have been asking even within the confines of the church. A statistics came out and said that fifty percent of every human gathering is addicted to pornography, watches pornography, interacts with pornography. You know what that means? It means if there are two people in a place, one of them is watching pornography. If there are 10 people in a place, five of them are watching pornography, addicted to pornography, and fifty percent is even the minimum, by the way.

That means you can have eight out of 10. That, do you all doesn't know what that means? That means, as you are listening to me right now in this church, 50 people is is It means you can look at your neighbor and just suspect that. You don't even have to look at your neighbor, you can look at yourself. Your neighbor might just by some miracle be part of those who are not watching or doing. Doesn't mean that you are free. So before you start looking at somebody else, let's check yourself first. And because of this concealment, everybody looks okay. In one of the countries in Africa, a respected politician in the high... In the upper echelon, respected in the nation, extremely rich and wealthy, built a successful business for himself, had a very unfortunate revealing of all his sexual escapades came out on the news.

And it was revealed that behind the polished elite that everybody sees and admires in the public, is a very crude, very degenerate young man who has had escapades, sexual escapades with well over 200 women. And for each woman that he sleeps with, he properly video records it, properly tapes it. Not a fable. And all of the scandal is not just that somebody made an allegation, it was that all of his sexual escapades in the Google Drive that he had kept it securely, became exposed to the public. Then they saw their favorite politician. With hundreds of women of different shapes and sizes. And on the outside, this is a respectable figure, a respectable man. Someone who would not even think would be a victim of such. That is the power of concealment. That's the power of the double life, double faced Christianity that many people carry.

Whereas they are being tormented by this affliction. Whereas they are being oppressed deeply by this affliction. And you would think that just because someone looks okay means that they are okay. Just because you look okay means that you're okay. A lot of believers have become expert in pretending. Experts in doing what now? In pretending. We do it. In fact, we do it so well that we've convinced ourselves that the pretense version is the truth. So much so we feel no conviction again that we are pretending.

Because somehow we just believe that the pretense is the real version. You get my point. And then the other side that only you knows about is the fake version. Because you don't want to identify with that side. Why is it there? It's there. It's there. It's staring you in the face every night. Every now and then, you'll find yourself back there. And if we're sincere with ourselves, the truth is that a lot of believers actually hate it.

A lot of believers want to break out, want to come out of it. A lot of believers do. A lot of believers do. And this teaching is designed specifically for those believers. Because not until a man desires to break out of it, he will never break out of it. And I'll show you why very soon. Are you with me? Yes, sir. Show you why very soon. Paul is saying, what I want to do, I don't do.

What I hate is what I do. He's in verse 24 that he started crying and shouting in agony, oh wretched man that I am. Oh wretched man that I am. Who will deliver me from this body of death? Who will deliver me from this body of death? Notice that he did not say what will deliver me as though he's looking for a better method. He says, who will deliver me? He asked who because he had finally run out of all the method he had been trying. And now he was looking for a person. And he found one.

Because in the next verse, in the next verse, verse 25. He said I thank God. Through Jesus Christ. Our Lord. Hold that name. Because we're going to study it. We're not unpacking it fully now. But we will not just sit down in the despair of Romans. Saying oh wretched man that I am. What are you not to do?

Oh no. Romans eight also exist. For there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in that name. Are you with me brothers and sisters? Sir. So to answer the question of why the cycle continues, we must understand that not every struggle exists at the same level. There's a difference between temptation, habit, addiction, and bondage. Glory to God. Amen. Now a lot of believers use this word interchangeably, but they describe very different realities.

And confusing them keeps people fighting the wrong war. So we're gonna attempt to define them. And in defining them, we'll now realize exactly why the cycles repeat. Are you with me? Yes, sir. Temptation is much like an invitation. Every human being experiences temptation. Every human being. Jesus himself was tempted. I hope you know.

For Hebrews four fifteen, it says that we don't have an high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses. But was in all points tempted as we are. Did you see that? Yet without sin. Now you have to note that very carefully because it means the arrival of temptation is not sin. In fact, the arrival of temptation is not even proved that something is wrong with you. Because Jesus was tempted and remained sinless. So temptation in itself is not the problem. Every human being is tempted. Jesus was tempted.

The bible captures three times when he was tempted by the devil. Is that not so? And the bible made it clear that the spirit led him to the wilderness to be tempted of the devil. So Jesus was tempted. A believer can be tempted. Temptation by itself does not mean that a person is in bondage. It simply means that an opportunity has presented itself. A door has been knocked on. The knock is not the fall. Are you with me?

We'll come back here very shortly. Now a habit develops when a person repeatedly responds to that knock in the same way. So every time the knock comes on the door, a person then opens the door every time, responds in the same way. Then a habit is formed. Are you with me? And that behavior, that habit that is formed, whatever response a person gives to the knock on the door. Whatever response a person begins to give to the knock on the door, that behavior now begins to carve grooves in the person's life. So certain environments can now trigger it. Certain emotions can now trigger it. It might be loneliness, boredom, rejection.

It might be late in the night when your defenses are down. Certain times of the day can trigger it. And your response now becomes predictable. Your response almost becomes traumatic. Whenever the trigger comes, you just begin to give in because it has already carved a groove. It it has carved a pattern already. So whenever the devil knocks, you flawlessly open up yourself to it. It becomes a behavior. It becomes a habit. Are you with me?

At that point, when it feels like a habit, you might still feel largely in control of your actions. But a pattern has already begun to form. And at that point, you are only responding to a temptation. You are only responding to a stimulus. You were invited and you chose to follow the path. You were invited and you chose to walk the path. So it was a conscious decision at that point. Do you understand what I'm saying? At that point, you still have some kind of control over your action. It feels like you still have some kind of control over your actions.

It feels like, oh, I was tempted and I fell for it. Do you understand what I'm saying? But because a pattern has begun to form in the repeated conscious decision to keep on yielding to that action, the pattern begins to take ground before you notice that ground has been lost. Because you still feel as though you have control. In fact, it even goes further than that. But I don't wanna go ahead of myself. Let's still keep it. Let's be building little by little. Addiction then develops when the habit sinks its root and the person begins to feel increasingly unable to stop despite repeated attempts to stop. That's when a man now begins to find out that he's addicted.

Now at that point, he realizes that the ground has been lost. So an addiction is not what you do every time. An addiction in reality is what you cannot stop doing. What you do every time can be a habit. As long as you have control over it, it becomes an addiction where you can no longer stop. You understand what I'm saying? That's when a man realizes that he has lost his footing. He thought he was in control, but he now realizes too late that I I was never in control. And this is where the frustration now sharpens into something much more darker. Because the man discovered a terrible thing.

And what he discovers now is that knowing it is wrong does not set him free from it. Because now he feels, I know this thing is wrong. I'm gonna stop. But now he can no longer stop. Do you understand what I'm saying? So the struggle moves beyond something that he does occasionally and begins to eat at his very sense of control over himself. He no longer has any form of control over himself, which is what leads us to bondage. Because at that point in time, spirit have now taken over. The realm of the spirit has been introduced. Realm of the spirit.

We now assist him to ensure that he never comes out of that thing again. It is at that point it becomes bondage. And this is in second Peter chapter two verse 19. The bible says, while they promised them liberty, themselves are slaves of corruption. Now I want us to read this next line together as long as you can see it projected. One, two, three, go. Did you see that? By whom a person is overcome. By him also is brought into bondage. That means whatever overcomes you masters you.

Whatever overcomes you brings you into bondage. So the overcoming is one thing. The bondage is another. Do you see that? A man would have to be overcome by the thing before he's now under bondage. The thing that defeats you repeatedly is by that very defeat becoming your owner. That's the mean of bondage, really. Sec... Let's do it in NLT. Just that part in NLT.

We'll read it in NLT. Just that part. That's the second part, the b part. Can we read it together everybody? Can you see that now? Yes, sir. You are a slave to whatever controls you. A slave. That is the part of bondage. And bondage is the final stage.

Where the struggle begins exercising authority over your life. At this stage, the issue is no longer just what the person does. It's no longer just the fact that what you're doing, you're masturbating, you're in fornication, you're in pornography, or whatever like that. The issue is now that you now feel unable to stop it. It's what the person feels unable to stop doing. So bondage creates a sense of captivity. That awful feeling of being a spectator in your own life. Watching your own life from outside as though you are unable to do anything about what is unveiling in your life. Watching your life helplessly surrender to the busiest appetite of the human flesh. Watching yourself walk towards the very thing that you swore to back off.

Now you're narrating your own defeat as it happens. You're feeling powerless to stop yourself. You sin, you regret it. You promise God in tears that will never happen again, and then you find yourself back there anyways. Now the tears now feel like a lie. The repeated cycle breeds a specific kind of hopelessness because when that thing continues to happen, continues to happen where you find yourself in pattern of repenting, then going back and repenting, then going back, there is a specific kind or a dimension of hopelessness that it begins to build on the inside of that person, on the inside of that believer. Because every flesh failure becomes another piece of evidence in the case that your mind is building against itself. And that case is telling your mind that freedom is not possible for someone like you. And every failure begins to reinforce it. Every failure begins to reinforce it.

For every time you say it will not happen again and it happens, your mind has another evidence to tell you, your cave is hopeless. You understand what I'm saying? And Jesus named that captivity in John chapter eight verse 34. He says, most assuredly I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. Jesus does not call it a bad habit. He called it slavery. And a slave is precisely someone who has lost power of will, someone who has lost power over his choices, who does whatever his master says even when he hates that master. Do you understand what I'm saying? That's the point that many believer get to before they realize that they are in a problem. Listen to me because this will help somebody.

This will help somebody who is not yet there, but is about to be there. Because this teaching will not only help the man who is there to come out of it, it will help the man who is approaching that place to come out of it. It will help the man who has not even started approaching it to also never approach it. So it will help three types of people. Just in case you feel your ear, and you say, apostle, can we talk about revival? This one does not pertain to me. You see, this matter is beneath me. Paul says, let he that thinketh a stance take heed lest he fall. He says be sober. Be sober.

Be sober. Peter was the one who said be sober. Be vigilant. Paul was the one who said the weapons of our welfare are not carnal but mighty through Christ. Paul then says we have no confidence in the flesh. When a believer begins to talk like that, you already know he will fall. Just a matter of time because that statement reflects confidence in the flesh. When you're a believer who begins to say, nothing can happen. Nothing can happen. It's very soon that something will happen.

Very soon. Because that statement reflects confidence in the flesh. People that work victoriously with respect to sexual sin and sexual immorality have no confidence in their own flesh. I don't wanna go ahead of myself. Glory to God. Amen. This entire escalation from temptation to bondage that now destroys the man, that now kills the man, that now wastes the life of a believer, That escalation, that build up in escalation from the first invitation to the first chain is mapped in a single passage. And the whole machinery is laid down in a single passage. The book of James. We'll still study it in detail very soon, but I wanna introduce a concept to us here now.

The book of James chapter one from verse 14 to verse 15. The Bible says, but each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires. You know what we'll Let's read it together. One, two, three, go everybody. Next bus. Next verse. I think 15 is where I want that to stop. It brings forth what? Death. Do you see the stages there?

Because they are exactly the ones that we have just walked through right now. There is the drawing away and the enticing. That is temptation. Then there is the conceiving. That is the desire being entertained until it takes hold. That's the forming of the habit. Then there is a birth of sin. The act made real. And then there is now the full grown thing that brings forth death. That is the bondage.

Where the act has now matured into a killer. A killer of destiny. A man does not know that when you partake in this thing long enough, it silences destinies. I'm going to talk about the repercussion and the consequence. But that's not what I'm opening with today. For adventure, we'll look at that in the second part. Are you with me? Yes sir. But the end of it is death. I don't think any believer or anyone really sets out to become a slave.

Every man who has found himself at this end did not really intend to get there, did not intend to become a slave. The intention was just to look once. The intention was just to taste it once, to try it out. But once desire is conceived, then the thing grew. What was now once a choice? What was once a decision? Let me just try it out. A decision between to say yes or to say no, has now become a capital where he can no longer say no. He no longer had a choice between yes or no. Are you with me?

Yes sir. That's why guilt alone does not produce freedom. Many believers spend years trying to use guilt as a weapon against sexual sin. In fact, many pastors do it. Because they feel as though if I can preach this message in a way that I can make someone feel guilty about what they are currently doing, it will produce repentance in them. What they don't know is that before you even attempted to make someone feel guilty, the act alone has already made the guy feel guilty. The guy is already living in perpetual guilt. In fact, his strategy currently is also the same as yours and does not work for him. He's also trying to use guilt to fight sexual sin. Are you with me?

Because whenever he falls, he immediately lets guilt flood his mind. Is that not so? He feels disappointed in himself, which is normal. He feels sick at the thought of himself. He feels ashamed before God. Because he feels as though, oh, I just finished worshiping God. And he feels dirty in the presence of God. Whilst he's feeling dirty and guilty and ashamed and unworthy. In that moment of feeling unworthy and dirty, he then begins to make the strongest promises of his life out of the weight of that emotion. He said, God, if I go back here, keep me.

If I ever do this kind of a thing, he begins to swear. Are you with me? Sir. And he means what he's saying with everything inside of him. In fact, for a few days after he made that resolution, there is a resolve in him that is burning hot. He feels motivated. He feels as though he's free. Might even come to share a testimony in church. Then the temptation returns as it always does. And that temptation finds him a little bit tired.

A little bit lonely. A little bit off guard. Then he falls again. But now the guilt is heavier. Because this is not the first time. That's probably the hundredth time. And the weight of all the broken promises now piles into one. And the cycle now returns again because in the weight of all the broken promises begins to weep and say ah, there is no hope for me again. Oh. Sometime you might even feel as though all hope is lost.

Then the guilt too will now push him again to say I will never do this again. I will never do this again. And then it just becomes a cycle because guilt cannot fight sexual sin. Guilt will only strengthen it. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yes, sir. And if my method as a preacher to help someone in sexual sin is guilt, it's already a failed strategy. Guilt, when it continues long enough and fails long enough, will now become obvious that it's no longer sufficient a motivator to even spur repentance. Guilt now starts working as fuel. Before, guilt was the one motivating repentance.

But when guilt fails long enough, you understand what I'm saying? And it is bound to fail. Every time guilt spurs repentance ance and it goes back to God and then it fails again. After the obtained time, a point will come where guilt now becomes what will now start fueling the action. Do you understand what I'm saying? Because the man will now give up. He will now begin to expect his own failure. He begins to see himself primarily through the lens of the failure, through the lens of immorality, through the lens of sin. He now calls himself dirty. He calls himself evil.

He calls himself promiscuous and a prostitute. He begins to label himself with a lot of names and doesn't see any point to even try again. God feels as though, see, it's useless. The guilt becomes the reason why the guy will now leave church, leave God, no longer praise, start dissociating from the presence of God, dissociating from people, dissociating from family, dissociating from friend because there is guilt that makes him feel unworthy of those associations. Unworthy of God, unworthy of church. Now he comes to church and he no longer feels comfortable in church, not because people know what he's doing because he's still concealing what he's doing. He just feels unworthy of being there. It feels as though everybody is perfect except him. And it feels like the stain or the odd one out among several righteous people. And the reason why he's feeling like that is because everybody too is concealing.

Because if only his eyes can open, you'll be heavily encouraged. Glory to God. By that point, his hope is drained. His confidence is drained. His expectation of victory is drained. There's no faith in his heart anymore. It's just discouragement. He's going through the motions of repentance. He no longer believe anything can change. He just...

Even if he's repenting, he still says I will head on the back there. I will just get back there. That's what the lady is still saying. That's what the guy is still saying. That's the soil in which the next one grows, the next act grows. A deeper enemy even begins to grow. More demons start accumulating over his soul. More demons start accumulating over our soul. Oh, God. I'm tempted to stay here, but I will not.

At that point, shame now enters. And shame is not the same animal as guilt. Can mistake them for twins, but there's a crucial difference. Because guilt is more concerned about action. Shame is more concerned about identity. Guilt is telling you I did something wrong. Shame is saying I am something wrong. Something is wrong with me. There is something wrong with me. That's also the difference between conviction and shame.

Because conviction says this action must change. But shame says, you are the problem and you cannot change. Shame wears the problem as a cloth, wears the problem as a garment. That's the truth about shame in any dimension, any reality. Anybody struggling with shame has won a particular weakness or won a particular limitation as an identity. So much so, it's no longer just about what they did wrong, it's now about who they perceive they are. This goes more than lost. It goes more than sexual immorality. It goes to every limitation or weakness a man can have. A man can wear the badge of shame for anything.

You can have a board meeting for instance, and he's preparing a slide for the company that he works for. And whilst he's preparing the slide, he's keeps certain information that is tangent to what the company is working on at the moment. And then he goes to present the slide. And he misses up things in his head. When he finds out that he has missed up information, he becomes even further confused. And the confusion now makes him start saying rubbish, stuttering, dewtering. In his dewtering, he's no longer stable. He's no longer calm. He's attempting to find what is wrong. Then he pours water on the laptop in the boardroom.

Laptop goes off. Then he's apologizing. He's saying sorry. Then he closes the laptop. He walks off that place. Two things are possible. The first one is that you can be guilty and begin to wish if I had done this better, if I had done this better, if I had done this better, that is guilt. Do you understand what I'm saying? If only I had paid more attention, if only I had done this better, if only I had been more careful, if only I had... That's guilt because he's still answering the question of what you can do or what you did not do.

Shame, however, is when that event now becomes his identity. Now, he can no longer present again because he has worn that event like a garment. He now sees himself like someone who cannot deliver a good speech. He now sees himself like someone who is a failure. He now sees himself like someone who is is not me they are looking for, that kind of thing. That's shame speaking. That's the same way an experience can be worn as a garment. And a person who has suffered sexual sin or who has been struggling with sexual sin long enough can also struggle with shame, can wear it like a garment. Husband, wife, man, woman, teenager, young man, father, can wear shame. Pastor even can wear shame like a garment.

Do it to God. You see it in Eden. You see it in Garden of Eden. When Adam sinned, the first thing that you see is shame. And what did shame do? Shame sent him into the trees. In Genesis chapter three verse eight, he hid himself from the presence of the Lord among the trees of the garden because shame sends you out of the presence of God. Shame makes you feel that you are the problem. It makes you feel unworthy. You have won your action as your identity.

So it's no longer that the action is not right with God. It's not that you are not right with God. You see that? And so when you feel that you are not right with God, what happens is that you then run away from the presence of God. You start running away from people, avoiding people, isolating people. Shame is what takes a man out of the presence of God. And it's the precise opposite of what conviction does, of what godly sorrow does. I was telling the people there is such a thing as godly sorrow. Yeah. Really?

Yes. There is such a thing as godly sorrow. And they thought it thing as worldly sorrow. And the distinction is in the bible. A man can feel a sense of sorrow for an action committed because this is not to mean that if someone now commits sexual sin, there should be no sense of sorrow. You understand what I'm saying? That would mean that the holy spirit no longer lives in you. That's a dangerous place to be. Second Corinthians seven and verse 10. Look at Paul introducing the subject of godly sorrow.

I want you to get everybody. Godly sorrow produces remembrance. First, what does godly sorrow produce? Remembrance. What does that lead to? Not to be? Remedest. But the sorrow of the world. So you see, there's a clear distinction between the between the two. Two sorrows.

One turns you towards the father, one turns you to life. The other one coves you in on yourself and then delivered you to death. And any man who is trapped in shame is not being driven by the first sorrow. However spiritual that shame might feel because there are times shame might feel spiritual. Do you know that part of this thing I'm saying right now, there are people who are listening to me that their own experience is not even that of masturbation or pornography or all of those things, is now with respect to, oh, man of God, I'm a guy when I'm attracted to guys. I'm a girl, but I'm attracted to girls. You'll be shocked how many number of these things exist in the church. You'll be shocked. However, concealment makes everybody looks good. Whereas people are dealing with battles on the inside that they are not free to open to people.

They're not free to open to others. You'll be shocked how many people right now that I'm speaking, listening to me would say, if they could have their chances to speak without the fear of judgment, would say, listen, man of God, I've been thinking how I would survive marriage because I'm a man but I'm attracted to men like myself. I'm a woman but I'm attracted to women like myself. And this thing, there is no side you are looking at it from. It's still the same thing that we are talking about. Your specific condition, matter how special it might seem to you, is not special. It's still the same thing. It's still sexual sin. Do you understand what I'm saying? Yes, sir.

Because those people now can wear shame like a diamond as well and feel out of place. And the same salvation, the same deliverance, the same answer that I would give to someone who is suffering sexual sin with the opposite sex is the same answer I would give to someone who is suffering sexual sin with the same sex. It's the same gospel. The bible says I'm not ashamed of the gospel of Christ for it is the power of God unto salvation. I've seen individuals who feel as though their own case is special. Know? Apostle, don't understand. You don't understand. Whenever I masturbate, what arouses me to masturbate is violent videos, bloodshed. And whenever I'm seeing bloodshed, I just feel aroused, and I wanna masturbate.

I'm not ashamed of the gospel of Christ. It is the power of God unto salvation. Same gospel. Whether it is bloodshed that brings a man to masturbation or it is cartoon, Don't really matter. Don't really matter. Are you with me? Yes, sir. So I was talking about shame. Right? Many believers are no longer even fighting pornography again.

What they are fighting now is shame. They're fighting self hatred. They're fighting the accumulated disappointment of years of failure, years of trying to try the same thing over and over again and having to see that every effort of years has failed. Every relapse is no longer just a relapse. It's now a fresh proof that is being filled away that something is fundamentally and permanently broken in them. And some of them have believed it. Because that struggle has quietly migrated from being about behavior to being about identity. And the struggle of identity is even deadlier because a man can change behavior, but he cannot change his self that he has concluded is rotten. And this is why secrecy is a dangerous thing like I was saying before because shame and darkness have an appetite for each other. Shame always seeks the dark.

Shame always seeks concealment. Shame always seeks isolation. The mind begins to whisper lies to you, and they are always the same lies. Nobody would understand. Nobody else is struggling like this. Not like this. Not as badly as me. If they knew, they will reject me. And most of the time, these are demonic whisperings to the believer. If I say it loud now, I'm finished.

They will judge me. One of my young men came and was telling me something and was telling me how he had messed up himself and I'd seen it in my spirit and even told my wife about it. He said, I said something wrong with this young man. I just kept quiet. And then some months after, he would come and tell me apostle actually this is what happened blah blah blah. And I asked, okay, this is like two months now. Why are you just coming to tell me this? And he says, oh, because, you know, the person involved is a very good person and I was just thinking I don't want her to be disgraced because I did not know what you would do and all of that. That's shame. And shame only strengthens the problem.

That's more than shame anyways. I don't want to go deep into that. But a part of that problem is shame. And shame can disguise itself as spirituality. It can make you feel spiritual, it can make you feel as though the path that you are on is the right path. But it is what it is. It is shame. Are you with me? Yes. And as the whisper grows in your head like that, that I I feel I will be judged.

If I release, I feel I will be attacked. I feel I will be this. I feel I will be that. Then the isolation now begins to grow also with it. And the struggle now begins to sink that young man further, that young woman further, where no light can reach, where no help can reach. And she now becomes a master of appearing fine. Whilst everything inside of her or inside of him is rotting, is smelling. The young lady is smiling on the surface while something is dying within her underneath. But that first lie, that first lie, the one that tells you that nobody else is struggling like this is perhaps the most wicked and the cruelest and the most false lie that the devil can tell someone to make you believe. Because scripture demonstrates that lie in first Corinthians chapter 10 verse 13.

It was Paul that was speaking. Paul says, no temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man. Did you see that? Common to man. So you are not a unique monster. What you didn't say? You're not the one exemption in human history. There are nothing new under the heavens. I've read of files where to practice their degeneracy, Billionaires would take women, drug them, cut their skin open to create holes in their body because they are bored of the natural reproductive organ. Did you hear what I said?

They are bored. And the boredom would make someone create his own hole, would stab them in the stomach, stab them. Real real life. Real life. You are not a unique monster. There's no dimension of evil this world has not seen. Paul said there's no temptation that has overthaken you except such as is common to man. Are you with me brothers and sisters? Yes, sir. What have its hand around your throat that's making you feel as though you are suffocating you cannot breathe?

I've had its hand around the throat of many other people who have come out of it. Are you with me? Yes, sir. That same verse says, God is faithful. Who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape. So there is a way of escape. There's a way out. Tell somebody there's a way out. There's a way out. And that lie that makes you believe that you are uniquely beyond help is a life on the pit of hell.

You should dislodge it instantly. Because the moment you begin to isolate yourself, you are gone. See, let me tell you how the lion hunts. We call the lion the king of the jungle and all of that. But when you study how he hunts, you'll find out that it might not be true. Because what makes him fearsome is mostly his audacity. Not because he's the fastest and definitely not because he's the strongest. In fact, his bite force is not even the strongest. You understand what I'm saying? Sir.

There are animals whose bite force are stronger than lions. There's no unique advantage lion has over other animals except for the fact that he's audacious. When you study how lion hunts, you'd find out that his hunting strategy is actually very, very different from how he appears. Because you would think that as fearsome as the lion looks, then it would mean that when the lion is hunting, what would he go after? Perhaps very dangerous animals. Perhaps the strongest bull. The fastest antelope. I mean, to prove his own strength. But that's not what the lion does. In fact, that's the very opposite.

The lion always looks for the weakest link. Always. Always. The weakest animal is what the lion hunts for. The one that is sick before. The one that is pregnant. The one that is a baby. The one that cannot run. That's what lion looks for. You understand what I'm saying?

Sir. So that when the Bible says that your adversary, the devil is like a roaring lion, you will realize that there's a trait of the lion that he actually... Do you understand what I'm saying? There's a trait. There's a trait that he embolishes. And it is a trait of looking for the weakest link. The weakest one. The one that is isolated. The one that is away from his group. That's why when you watch the jungle very well, baby animals usually are very close to their mothers whenever they are walking in parks.

And you know that they'll be walking very close to them or in the middle. Sometimes, some even put the weakest links in the middle. When you find lions moving, they cannot approach a herd. They always look for the one that is cast aside, the one that is the farthest away. Do you understand what saying? Or the one that is weak, the one whose leg is almost broken, that's the one you would think there is pity. Understand that there is no pity. The devil does not say ah, because she's almost gone. Let's leave her alone. You know?

Let's ensure that there is no coming back. Call the devil does. So in case you think that, oh, my own case is a sorry case. Let me not oppose people. That's exactly what the devil wants you to do. That thing precisely that is in your mind is the suggestion the devil is putting there so that by the time he comes for you, no one can help you. You die alone. You are alone. You can't call anybody for help. Some people even go ahead and block everybody's numbers.

Instead of revealing the thing and saying pastor help me. Help me. Overbody. Is dying in concealment. Don't know he's dying. Listen. That isolation that feels like protection because that's what it feels to the person who is isolating himself. He feels as though he's protecting himself from the judgement of people. It feels as though he's protecting himself from the repercussions of people knowing that, oh, I'm not as clean as I thought I was or I thought I was. Or see what I've done or see what I've done.

Oh, isolation often oftentimes feels like protection to you, but it creates the exact condition in which the bondage thrives the best. You now find the girl losing accountability, loses perspective, loses the encouragement of another voice over his or her life. It loses the one thing that breaks the power of shame, which is bringing that shame into light, bringing into light. The battle becomes private, personal, a secret, indulged long enough, stops feeling like something it does and starts feeling like something that it is. And I tell you that it carries in the dark. The first solution therefore is stepping into the light. That's the first solution. It's stepping into the light. Look at James five verse 16. James five verse 16.

What does it say? I want us to read it together everybody. One, three, go. Pause. Read it again. This time slowly. Pause. Can you see that healing is tied to confession to one another? That means breaking the power of secrecy. Stepping into the light.

First John chapter one verse seven, the Bible says if we walk in the light as is in the light, that we have fellowship with one another. Can you see? Did you see that? Confess your sins with one another. Pray for one another. You'll be healed. And James says, if you walk in the light as is in the light, we are fellowship with one another. So walking in light means having fellowship with one another. Means... Do you understand what I'm saying?

Means what? Having fellowship with one another. It means how secrecy dies, how darkness dies in the life of man is to walk in the light. What does it mean to walk in the light? To have fellowship with one another. How do you do that? Confess your sins one to another. Do you understand what I'm saying? Now don't take it literally and just go meet one useless person and say, you know what? I'm infectious sin.

You are very foolish. Do you understand what I'm saying? Because if you go back to James five sixteen, and you go back to verse 14, the context of it is not just one another. One, three, go. Pause. Do you remember you may be healed? Yes, sir. So the context is if any man among you suffering any kind of sickness, let him do what? Hold the elders. Uh-huh.

So be one another is not just the person who you don't know what that one do is suffering in concealment. It is go to the elders of the church. That's the one another there. So there is no confusion. Walk into the light. Approach your pastor. Approach your pastor. Approach your what now? Pastor. Approach your pastor.

This is my problem. Step into the light. Stop the concealment and stop the secrecy. Are you still with me? The blood does its cleansing work in the light. That's what first John one seven says, if we walk in the light, we are fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus Christ, his son, cleanses us. So the cleansing that the blood does, it does in the light, not in darkness. Darkness flourishes in darkness. You with me? This is why so many sincere believers fight for years and years and lose.

The problem is usually not that they don't love God, it's that they are insincere. They are caught inside a cycle that has learned to feed itself. So the temptation leads to failure. The failure leads to guilt. The guilt drippings into shame. Shame demands secrecy. Secrecy enforces isolation. Isolation strips away every defense whatsoever and creates vulnerability, flesh vulnerability that they cannot expose to others. And then it opens the door back to temptation, and the whole cycle runs again and again and again and again. Until the man finally surrenders to despair, to the belief that there is simply nothing that can work for me.

I'm just too damaged to be saved. Are you with me? So the first work that needs to be done is not to hand you a technique, is not to hand you a method, but to switch on the light in the cell. That's the first work that needs to be done. Switch on the light. Because a man cannot break a battle he has never honestly understood. So before there can be freedom, the thing must be exposed. Before the chain can be broken, the mechanism must be seen for what it is. This is why I've taken time to show you the struggle itself so that we can name it clearly and trace how it works. Refusing to let it keep operating in the dark where it is strongest because it is strongest in the dark.

What did I say? Strongest in the dark. That's why a man keeps on running back to the very thing that he hates before he could ever talk about how he can even get free. We need to understand why. Why does a man keep on running back there? At this point in my teaching, I'm supposed to go somewhere because there's a question that that brings us to naturally out of everything we've discussed. And the question is, if this battle is very powerful, why does it have much power in the first place? Why does it reach so many people? Why does it cut so deep? But I'm not gonna answer that today.

I'll postpone that to the next part of this series. Because there's something else I want to discuss now. And I feel strong in my heart that we should make a part of this part two as we will not have enough time to cover everything. And I wanna show us exactly how temptation becomes captivity. Because one of the one of the greatest mistakes people make when dealing with sexual sin is assuming that the battle begins when the act occurs. What did I say? That's not what I said. Said one of the mistakes that people make when dealing with sexual sin is the assumption that the battle begins when the act occurs. That means they imagine that the problem starts with the action. They imagine that the problem starts with pornography.

So if you ask someone who is struggling with sexual sin, they will tell you that, oh, I'm struggling with this action. I'm struggling with pornography, or I'm struggling with masturbation, or I'm struggling with fornication, adultery, or some other visible expression of sexual sin. Are you with me? Yes, sir. And when you believe this, what happens is that you put all your attention to trying to stop the behavior, And then you pay no attention to the process that produces the behavior. But scripture teaches that sin does not begin with actions. Sin begins much earlier in a place that no one else can see, in a place that no one else pays attention to. So long before sin ever appears in public, long before sin ever becomes an action, it has already been growing in private. Are you with me? Long before a man falls in the open, something has quietly been happening in the secret of his heart.

And the visible fall is the last scene of a plane that has been running for a long time in the dark. And I see this every time I counsel people, every time I talk to people. In fact, people would often say this when they come and talk about these kind of things and they say, oh, man of God, I I made a mistake. You have... You begin to ask them, what's the mistake? Did what I was not supposed to do. K. What were you not supposed to do? I'll begin to play a game of chess. Then you make your own move, and then I make my own move.

How do you wanna play this now? Man of God, help me. Okay. Alright. Your turn. So what do you need help with? I'm sorry. Are you what I'm not supposed to do? Okay. Alright.

I see a bishop there that has been exposed. Okay. So tell me what you did. I'm, sir, I just made a terrible mistake. I said, okay. Alright. I don't see... It's as though your defense is very strong. You are protecting your queen and your king very carefully. I must be strategic in how I move now.

So what was the mistake? Gang. Gang. Gang. Now I've moved a bishop now. Scattered the territory. Man, you cannot hide again. And the young man says, sir. Sir, it was just bad. I really regret it, but I just did what I was not supposed to do.

We fell. We fell. We fell. And then you start to wonder, was there a stone on the floor? You know, one of my young men came to me and told me the same thing. And it was almost as though we were playing the chess. And and he kept on saying, it was a mistake. It was a mistake. And I had to tell him, let me explain to you what a mistake would look like. Because if you tell me that sexual sin is mistake, you will never win that battle.

Sexual It is not a mistake. I told young man, let me tell you what a mistake looks like. A mistake looks like this. The lady comes to your house to come and probably return a textbook or bring food to you. Whatever stupid reason is, The reason why she's in your house in the first instance. But let's not even say... Let's even say that because if she's coming to return the textbook, that would even remove the mistake component because that in itself already should make a mistake. So a mistake would be that she was going a model and fell in your house. No. No.

No. Let's be factual. Because if you are saying it's not a mistake, then it would mean that there was no conscious decision involved. So to come and return a textbook in the... To come and study... To come and do whatever in the house of the hope of its sex, bring food, do whatever, already shows a conscious decision. So you cannot say that that was a mistake. So it must be that she was on bike and the bike just fell down and she had a robust body so she can roll. So she rolled. To your room.

And when she was rolling to your room, it just so appeared that the ground was so coarse and the ground was steep. And so as she was rolling, you know, her trousers went off and her brows went off and different things went off. And at the point when she fell into your bed, that's a mystic, Lily. That's a mystic. That's a mystic. At the point when she fell into your bed, you were not even in the room. You were in the bathroom, and you didn't even know anybody was there. Then as you were coming out of the bedroom, there was a banana peel there, then you slid on the banana peel. As you were trying to hold yourself, your two wells flung up, you landed upon. And that's a mystic.

That's a mystic. Because the moment you say, oh, it was a mistake. You are about to make several mistakes. Yeah. And that was your first mistake there. You'll be plenty mistakes to come because you've got to call it what it is. Are you still with me? Yes, sir. It's not a mistake. The action, whatever the action might be, the action might be masturbation, be pornography, might be sexual integral of itself, might be whatever.

Might be fondling of each of those bodies. The action is only the hand part of a player has been running for a long time. That's just the conclusion of that drama. Are you with me? Sir. That's why James gives us the most important explanations of temptation in the entire Bible that we've already read. Is that not so? But each one is tempted when he's drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Notice how carefully James describes the process. He does not describe sin as something that suddenly materializes.

Do you see that? It describes sin as something that grows, something that has stages, something that has a progression. It describes it as a development from one thing into the next. The way a pregnancy moves towards a birth. There's conception, then there is gestation, then there is delivery. Is that not so? And there is a full grown thing that then kills. And James is showing us a living growing process, not a single event. He says, each one is tempted when he's drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then when desire has conceived, he give birth to sin.

And sin when it is full grown brings forth death. You see, so it's not a single event. It's a growing event. And it means at any point of this progression, a believer can identify where sin has gotten to and kill it before it becomes a full event. Are you with me? Because sexual sin is not as though lightning just struck. Because when believers speak about sexual sin, we speak as though we're just walking one moment and another moment we just fell down. And boom, it just happened. The sin just came from nowhere. Yet James tells us that temptation always follows a pattern.

Temptations always follows a path. There's a movement from desire to conception, from conception to birth, and from birth to death. That's the path that temptation follows. The final act, the thing that everyone sees is only the visible end of a long and largely invincible journey. By the time the act is born, it was already carried in the womb of the heart for some time. So the first thing that James names is desire. I almost talk about this very carefully because you see, desire itself is not automatically sinful because God created human beings with desire. The desire for intimacy is not sin. The desire for companionship is not sin. The desire for affection is not sin.

The desire for a relationship is not sin. Those desires were woven into us by God. When he said be fruitful, multiply, subdue the earth. The problem is what the fall did to these desires. That's the problem. The problem is what sin tries to do with these desires. That's the problem. Because sin takes what is God given, a legitimate longing, and then tries to satisfy that longing through an illegitimate door. And we must remember that even the arrival of temptation is not yet seen because Christ himself was tempted and remained sinless. Hebrews four fifteen.

The temptation that is knocking is not the sin. The sin is the welcoming of it. And that is precisely why temptation is rarely effective when it offers something to you that is completely foreign to the person that he's offering it to. So the devil is smart in what it offers to you as a temptation. Are you with me? Not what the Bible says in James. It says each one is tempted when he's carried away by his desires. It means temptation is too clever to offer you what you don't want. It is temptation because you want it. You desire it.

It's a desire. Do you understand what I'm saying? Temptation always attaches itself to something that is already inside you. It takes a legitimate desire, temptation, and then suggests to you an illegitimate pathway to satisfy that desire. It takes the desire for intimacy and then directs that desire towards fantasy. You see, where because of intimacy and the desire for intimacy, which could be directed at the holy spirit. Whispering demons come and start suggesting pictures, creating fantasies in the mind of an individual, pornographic fantasies. It takes a genuine desire for comfort and direct that desire to pornography. In fact, sometimes it takes a genuine desire to feel relieved after a stressful day and direct that desire to pornography and masturbation. The desire for acceptance for instance, because you want to be accepted, you wanna feel accepted, you wanna feel loved, and it turns that desire into sexual validation.

Glory to God. And that's why for everyone who's been tempted, that's why temptation looks so persuasive. In fact, it looks reasonable because it borrows the language of a real and legitimate need whilst quietly leading you towards a counterfeit solution. That was the very strategy that he used in hidden. The serpent did not offer the woman something repulsive. He offered us something that looked good. Genesis three and verse six, the Bible says she saw that the fruit was pleasant. It was good for food. Pleasant to the eyes. Can you see what the devil is offering the woman?

Something that was already pleasant. You understand what I'm saying? Good, pleasant, desirable. So the fruit appealed to real appetite that she already had, real longings that God had given to her. And the devil was able to direct that desire towards an illegitimate means of executing that desire. Not because the desire for wisdom is wrong because the Bible say that Eve saw in the tree, a tree desirable to make one wise. So Eve desired wisdom. But does James not say if any man lack wisdom, let him ask. That means there was wisdom with God. And if Eve desired wisdom, they had fellowship with God every day.

You could ask God. So the desire to be wise was there. Nothing is wrong with that desire. God created human beings with the desire to know. Are you with me? But then the devil now makes suggestions as to you as to how to gratify this desire. For instance, when a man begins to study extra biblical records and all kinds of manuals that are anti scriptural because he wants to know, He's feeding a desire. Is that not so? Except for the fact that that desire, if not properly stewarded, will not lead him to truth. It will lead him in fact away from truth.

It would because of knowledge that he has gathered now become an atheist and say there is no God. What led him into it was a real desire to know. You see, that's the same way temptation works. It takes a desire that is there and it begins to suggest to you an illegitimate means out of the scope of God's will for man to begin to execute that desire. You think that a man liking a man is a new thing? Woman liking a woman is a new thing? Go read the Bible. Didn't start today. The Bible says the men of Sodom were not even interested in the blood of Lot. They wanted the ape...

Oh, God. I told you, you are not a unique monster. You didn't understand what I'm saying. This one saw an angel. And they said, we don't want an encounter. We want to sleep with the angel. Mama, show me go me last. There is no temptation that is not common to man. Don't you making yourself too special. You know, my case is different.

Come on, shut up, you proud man. What case is different? I just proud. Glory to God. Next week, Tuesday, I'm gonna talk about sexual trauma as well because there are people that find themselves here not by choice, not by their own decisions, but based off molestations, abuse. Oh, will be answered. In the name of Jesus. Amen. So James says that a person is drawn away and enticed. Those are the haunting words there.

Drawn away and enticed. That is the language of trapping a prey. The picture is of an animal that is lured away from the safety of the earth that is coaxed step by step towards a snare that it cannot yet see. Drawn away and enticed. So that shows you that temptation almost never announces its true destination to you at the start. It never tells you where it is taking you to. That's why scripture uses the language of drawn away and enticed. Can you give me amplified for? There's something I saw. Yeah.

That's what I'm looking for. Can we read it together, everybody? Pause. When is what now? And baited. Baited. That's the word. So it's a bait. It's using your innate desires to bait you. When you wanna trap a rat, what do you do?

You put a gum there. But you know the gum itself will not do the work. So what do you do? You put meat or fish or whatever on the gum to do what? Bait the rat. You are putting something that the rat is naturally drawn to. The desire to satisfy an hunger becomes what you use to beat the rat to satisfy that hunger through an illegitimate means. That leads to the death of the rat. That's exactly what temptation is. That's exactly what the devil does.

By his own worldly desire, his own lust, his own passion. You see, So it never tells you where it's going. It prevents itself beautifully to you, especially sexual sin. What sexual sin does is that it fixes your gaze on the pleasure you are feeling immediately, not on the long term consequences. Because the long term consequences of sexual sin is always out of view in the moment. So what it does is it holds up the promise, but it always hides the price tag so that you would not know what you're replacing for what. Are you with me? Yes, sir. That's why temptation is so deceptive because if a person could see the full consequence at the very first moment, half of the temptations on earth would instantly lose their power. Not all of them.

Half of them. But the enemy never opens with the destruction. Mm-mm. He always opens with the pleasure. And only later when it is too late does the bill arrive. He say, all the pleasure you've had, this is the bill for it. It's the price you pay for it. Are you with me? Yes, sir. So when you're talking to people that have been led away by sexual sin, instantly, they're just enjoying the moment.

Really. That's that's what it looks to them. Just enjoying the moment. Never looks like something is at the end of it. In fact, when you tell them that something is at the end of it, they will tell you no. I mean, you you can't say that this person is just your bestie. Look at the way you're having calls. Look at the way you're going out together. Look at the way he's holding you. Something is there or nothing is there.

That's how temptation looks like. The one being tempted, the one being led astray is oftentimes the one who is the blindest. Because what the devil is using is a bait. A bait based off his own desires. Not because the desire itself is wrong. There is a framework upon which desire is meant to find expression. Is that not so? All desire has a framework and the framework is called marriage. Within that framework, whatever desire you want to desire is your right. In fact, you are holy.

You are very, very holy. You understand what I'm saying? That's a framework. What the devil does is make a man impatient, brings a desire that is not meant to satisfy it now and insist on satisfying it now. And it makes it seem as though if you did not get that satisfaction now, you might lose your life. Because there is pleasure to your flesh. I mean, talking for long hours is pleasuring your flesh. Giving descriptive analysis of each other's private parts is pleasuring your flesh. All of this has not led to the sin being born just yet. It's still in the heart.

It's still in the heart. It's still in the heart. Let me show you a scripture. It's a long read, but I want us to read it. Proverbs chapter seven from verse six. We're reading to verse 27. So it's long, but it's interesting. Let's read in the New Living Translation. I wanna show you something. Are you ready with me?

Yes, sir. One, two, three, go. Meno. This one, this one, he lacks common sense. I told someone some time ago, said, it's in the bible. He say he lacks common sense. And I zoomed my eyes at this one. Note the imagery. This is a father watching his young men. And then out of all his young men, he saw one of them in particular.

He's observing, and he just sees one of them. Whatever he observes, he concluded. This one lacks sense. So let's begin to analyze. Next verse. He was crossing... Hold on. Hold on. Whatever he's about to show us now was is the diagnosis that he made that this guy lacks common sense. Are you ready?

Okay. Let's read together. One, three. Go. Force. So let's be counting. It's important we count. The first reason why this guy lacks common sense is that he was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman. Because for him to know that he's an immoral woman, It mean there is public knowledge that this woman is an immoral woman. Yet of all the streets to cross, this young man decided that this was the one I was going to cross and not just cross it, walk near a house, strolling down the path by a house.

It means he was not even walking in an ace as though he has a place he's going. He was just... That that that's what he... He was just enjoying himself. And surely... And the man was observing, he says, cry. It means you can see and say, oh,. I I post more. There's no... I got screwed.

I got screwed. You find a friend advising assistance saying, no. You can't be doing like this. All of these things are too much. You will help. Come on now. It's not just stroll. You are strolling. You say it lacks common sense. Let's continue with it.

Let's continue with it. Okay. Alright. It must mean that I don't need to explain this one. Men know. Because the case is very deep. It was at twilight in the evening as deep darkness fell. Look at the next verse. Uh-huh. Let's read.

Let's read. Let's read. One, two, three, go. Next verse. Next verse. It means there are women like this. I don't wanna go into women like this. Let's go. One, two, three. Go.

She starts spiritually. I mean she's a woman of the spirit. Let's be fast. I wish we had time. He said you are the one. I was looking for. Boss, you would expect that at this point, this guy would have run. Notice that the father was still observing. The father never interrupted this conversation. He was observing.

Many things made this guy stupid. The father said, one of them in particular, I noticed him. He lacked common sense. All the other men knew to avoid the house of this woman so that they would not even hear our words in the first instance. Because to even hear our words, that's a layer beyond. You have stepped into another conundrum that it is harder to come out of it. It means it is wisdom. The first incline of wisdom on the path of temptation is not to be there in the first instance. It's not to be there at all. You see, you are the one I was looking for.

I came out to find you. And you have to understand the power of the you. Because the you is anyone that would walk this way. Anyone audacious enough, anyone confident enough, anyone who believes nothing can happen. And just in case you feel as though you are a spiritual man, you say, listen, calm down. I fulfilled my vows. I've done all my offerings. We can vibe together. Maybe you're a Christian. I'm a Christian too.

What's all of that? What's all of that? Go to the next verse. My bed is spread with beautiful blankets, with colored sheets of Egyptian lining. He said, I've perfumed my bed with myrrh, hallows, and cinnamon. Pause. Pause. Pause. Come down. Do you know what is happening here?

This is mental pictures. This is imagination. What the words are doing is creating an imagination. When it has perfume my bed, you don't see BED. What enters your mind is a properly laid bed, cinnamon lining. What you're seeing is a naked woman laying her bed and preparing herself for you. Look at the next verse. It says, come, let's drink our feel of love until morning. Let's enjoy each other's carises. Next verse.

For my husband is not home. He's away on a long trip. Next verse. Stay with me. He has taken a wallet full of money with him and would return until later this month. So she seduced him with a pretty speech and enticed him with a flattery. Please note the words. I'm going somewhere with this. Watch. This is where I'm going.

He followed her at once. Like an hawk's going to the slaughter. It was like a stag caught in a trap. Stay there. Each man is tempted. When he's dragged away and baited, you see, you see, following the lust of their own flesh, following the recklessness of their own desires, climbing somewhere, I will not be able to land there today. There's something in verse 23 that this guy did not know because he has allowed a process has built up all in that moment. Look at what verse 23 says, awaiting the harrow that would pierce its heart. It was like a bird flying into a snar, little knowing it would cost him his life. Let's go back to James.

You remember? In amplified version. Verse 15, the next verse says, when the illicit desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin. And when sin has run its course, it gives birth to death. And I started by telling you that when a man is on the path of temptation, he does not know. That he's on the path of death. Are you with me? Yes, sir. He just saw the pleasure that she displayed. He never saw the death that she was concealing.

And the pleasure is real. Scripture is honest about that. But the Bible calls it the passing pleasures of sin. Hebrews eleven twenty five. The Bible calls it the passing pleasures of sin. Give me. In the new kingdom version, chosen rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin. Can you see that? Pleasure that is genuine and brief, fasting to a cost that is eating and lasting. Look at the counsel of that father in verse 24 of Proverbs.

He says, so listen to me, not my son. The remaining one of you, my sons. He said, leave that one alone. He has chosen a path. He said, but listen to me. Pay attention to my words. Verse 25. Don't let your heart stray away. David said don't let your action? No.

The strain first happens in the heart. The wandering down first happens in the heart. That's the first place that is conceived. So it's not your leg. It's not even your hand. It's not your eyes. It's your heart. That's one of the reasons why imagination plays a powerful underestimated role in sexual sin. Because long before any action or cause, images are being formed in the mind. Thoughts are being entertained.

Fantasies are being constructed. Scenarios are rehearsed in the mind. That's what the lady was doing, putting scenarios in his mind, putting fantasies and images in his mind. And a man can be by himself and he's contemplating these images within himself until the images begin to wear deep grooves within him. And many people are convinced that the battle begins at the point of the physical action. But in truth, the battle was either won or lost much earlier in the realm of his imagination, in his heart. Whether he has been strayed away, whether he has been baited, whether the baiting was successful. That's the point where the battle was either lost or won. It means a person right now can know he's been baited. Can know that, listen, this thing is just your desire.

The devil knows that you have this desire. The desire is not wrong, but it's not yet time for you to find expression. That's the foolishness of a young boy or young girl who is barely of age, who does not see marriage in view within the next two years, three years, four years, five years, she's not getting married, but she has a boyfriend. Two years from now, you are not married. Three from now, you're not married. Four from now, you're not married. Five from now, you're not married. What are you doing with a boyfriend? What are you doing with a girlfriend? It is foolishness.

And then when you now have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you now begin to ask stupid questions. Sir, is kissing a sin? What you are in is already a sin. Leave kissing alone. Stop that nonsense you are doing. Go and enjoy a relationship with God first. You are doing nonsense and deceiving yourself and you're asking me if this is a sin. So you lack common sense. Lack common sense. How about the one you know that this person, there is no relationship whatsoever going on.

I'm not even prepared to have a relationship anytime soon. I don't see marriage in view. I'm probably even a student in school at the moment. Probably even a student in school at the moment. I might be working. I might be employed. I might be a pastor. There's no reason why me and this person should have this kind of informal relationship. Whereby 12AM, we've been on a conversation since eleven till twelve, going to one, we're just talking. Say it's harmless.

How does the harm come? How does the harm come? That's the question. How does the harm come? Sin is not a lightning that strikes pow out of nowhere. That's why it cannot be a mistake. You see? You can't say it's a mistake. You already know that following the desires of your heart, there is already something in me that wants to spend excessive time with this person that I know is on due. And I go to work every day, I see this person probably because he's charming and he appeals to my flesh.

But I know either based on my own metrics, my own values, or whatever reason I know that this cannot work. But I am there sponsoring relationships, sponsoring that same desire. When the guy comes to office and says, oh, do you want to follow me home? I'll just drop you by your street. We go to same place together. He said, oh, sir. But it's just an harmless ride. Can't you... You lack common sense is what the bible says. You understand what I'm saying?

Yes, sir. You lack common sense. You lack common sense. You would rather that you suffer. Even if rain was falling, wait for the rain to finish. Stay one hour in the bus stop looking for a bike because you know that you are being baited and you will not fall baited. Do you understand what I'm saying? I will not fall baited. What kind of stupid closeness is that? It's not my bestie.

Is that why your bestie is arguing like this? And your bestie had a lot on her mind. She's coming there with a lot on her mind and she's just hugging you like that. See, it means nothing. You stay in a house where male and female probably live together, your neighbor probably is a female and then goes around everywhere with just a singlet, without wearing a bra, and then when she comes out with everything that is full in her mind and she's just walking up and down, why you now want to come out and wash plate. No. No. No. It's somewhat sensible. It's somewhat sensible.

Yeah. Neighbor, you know, come sit down and does this. You should have some sense. You are being baited. That's what the Bible calls it. Understand that. That means it should never mature to the point where sin is conceived before a man says, no. I refuse to be baited. Because the first thing that makes the man stupid was the very fact that he was near a house. You read the Bible, you find out that Lot never began in Sodom.

The same principle here. Lot pitched his tent outside of Sodom, near Sodom. You read the Bible, near Sodom. Lot never went into Sodom when he got there. It was near Sodom. But when the angel came many years later, he was at the very center of Sodom. The same principle in Proverbs, near a house to a bed. That's all it takes. That's all it takes. Near his car, inside his car, inside his room.

It's always near. It's it's near. And when it is near, especially when your desire, you know that something in you is finding pleasure in the nearness. Run away is common sense. Run away. It is at that point you run because how the progression is simple. There is a desire in you. The desire is not manufactured by the devil. It is in you. Oh, you understand what I'm saying?

It means because it is in you, you can know when you have pleasure in a thing. Football, for instance, does not give me pleasure. Are you with me? I will never understand why a young man will huff his clothes, stack himself inside a crowded place where there is no hasty, watching a TV that is hung somewhere in the ceiling. His neck is discomforted. People are not wearing perfumes. Everybody's smelling tick. Listen. Listen. Listen.

And the guy sincerely is deriving pleasure. You know when you are deriving pleasure in a thing. I am irritated. I owe God. I can't wrap my head around it. I can't sit down and watch other people doing something for ninety minutes of my time. It is time wasted, but it is in my own perspective. So it will be foolish for the devil to come and tempt me with football. It's a failed strategy. Do you understand what I'm saying?

It's a failed strategy. I cannot, I can never invest ninety, not even thirty minutes of my time sitting down watching other people doing something. What happened to people watching me? I would rather invest that much time in myself so that one day, I can gather that most attention. That's how I think. The devil knows, so he will not bring that near me. But he also knows I'm a man. So it will take time to learn your desires. Learn what is in you. What you find pleasure in.

And when you know that, oh, boy, black say, are they like this thing? And this thing is not designed to be like in this time of my life. What do you do? Hey. Don't speak in tongues. Don't cast out devils. Don't preach. Don't prophesy. He says, run. He says, run.

He says, run. The Akubu cannot manage. You have to run. You have to you have to run. Eyes open your feet. This is not what there is to this teacher. You've barely begun. This is just an introduction. And seeing as we're not able to go really far, we might have to proceed to elongate it a bit. And listen, let me tell you how this applies to masturbation and all these things.

Now that you know that this thing has a build up, it means masturbation itself is not the final act. It also has a build up. Pornography itself is not the final act. It also has a build up. It starts from this gate of the eyes you see. These pictures and these imaginations you see. Now this matter is somewhat deeper than this and we're gonna go into all the lens of it. But I believe that it is fruitful if we know this and begin this series talking about this. Thank you, Jesus. If you understand what I'm teaching you, you will break free.

You will. Oh, you will. That's what light does. The first thing light is is refusing concealment. You must not forget everything I've taught you. Refusing concealment. Go to the elders of the church. You meet your pastors. You tell them, pastor Eniola, I'm I'm struggling. Pastor Eni, I'm struggling.

There are matured HODs and leaders that you have. You go meet your HOD. A worker in the church, for instance, there is something going on. We shouldn't be playing chess with your life. Come on now. Come on now. Because if you are coming, assumption is that you have said no to shame. And you are bringing this thing to the light so that answers can come. Are you with me? The second thing light is understanding.

Cause the entrance of your word gives light and it gives understanding to the symbol. Light makes you know. So that when you know, you cannot have an excuse. And when you really want out, then you will do everything it takes to come out. Is this understood? Yes, sir. Thank God for what you've received. Father, in the name of Jesus, we ask that you help the helpless. And as many of us who are dealing with several conditions and issues of the heart in this manner, who are locked in shame, who are locked in guilt, who are locked in all kinds of afflictions, oppressions of the devil, we declare that by reason of light, there is deliverance. Amen.

In the name of Jesus. Amen. And from today ends forth is empowerment of the spirit. Amen. In the name of Jesus. Amen. Thank you because you have done it. In Jesus mighty name we pray. Amen. Thank you for listening to this message.

We trust you have been blessed. You can get more life transforming messages from apostle Emmanuel Boluwatife on our Telegram page at DCN media channel. You can also stream the messages on Spotify, Ocho Mac, and Apple podcast. Connect with us via our social media platforms on Instagram at DCN underscore nations, on Facebook at disciples christian network, on X at dcm central and on TikTok at disciples christian network. You can also subscribe to our YouTube channel at disciples television. If you have a testimony from this message, you can mail us at disciplecngmail dot com. God bless you.